The beginning

I am a mother.
I am a scientist, a researcher, a clinician, a mentor and mentee.

Today represents the beginning of a journey that is both exciting and terrifying. My boss has been head-hunted again and I'm not going. I've evolved with the lab over the past few years and although the move is said to be exciting and would represent a major opportunity, I am not going.

I would have access to dedicated equipment that I spend a good portion of my time at present fighting to get access to. My students would be guaranteed access and would finish in a timely fashion. Instead of spending my work life sardined into a shared office space, surrounded be filing cabinets that represent an occupational safety risk, I would get an office, admin support, funding for my team. But I am not going.

Is it because I am a mother and I don't think that my children's grandparents should be limited to twice yearly visits, if that? That's a part of it.

Is it because I've already uprooted my family once to move with the lab, set up from scratch and put my family at risk financially? That's a part of it.

The main reason is because it's time for me to assume in my workplace the same level of responsibility I have for my children. To grow up and lead by example, rather than tow the party line. I'm terrified of failing. This will be my record.