Replaceable

Have you ever stopped to think about who would honestly miss you when you die?

When I try to weight up career vs family decisions, I always remind myself that none of my colleagues will stand at my grave and weep on the anniversary of my death, my birth, my wedding. The most likely scenario is that it will be my children, my family.

So it should not have come as a shock today to learn that in the quest for greater things in 'life' my current (and soon to move away to head a much larger group and pool of resources) boss is headhunting folk from overseas. On one level, it's entirely reasonable. On another if feels devastating as for so long I have held a special role within our group and I can see that slipping away. I now really understand what it means to realise 'the end of an era'.

I find it perplexing that I feel so saddened by the loss of opportunity when before me lie the lives of two individuals whose future is filled with choices, options, chances, luck, excitement and its foe disappointment, love, laughter, memories of us. In their lives I am (or at least so I tell them!!!) irreplaceable.

Is that not enough?