Resolve

After a fitful night of sleep, which hasn't happened to be for years, I was woken this morning to the usual cry of 'oiy wan bwekki' (loosely translated into Mummy speak, means "mother dear, have you woken yet? Oh, I would be ever so grateful for a small repaste. Perhaps some poached eggs with hollandaise on rye?").
oiy wan bwekki mumma.
oiy wan BWEKKI mumma.
OIY WAN BewkKi!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Ahhhhh... wrestling through the haze into a new day. A mother's delight!

So I got up and tried all the usual stalling tactics ("Mummy sleep in your bed? You play with dolly? Teddy wants to sleep - Look, Mummy put him to sleep, nice and warm in bed [yaaawn]"), but to no avail.

So we cooked eggs (scrambled, not poached) and to-be-ignored mushrooms.
"OIY wan do eet, toats" ("Oh mother, do let me help you. There's no need for you to do all the work. Shall I spread my toast? Would you like a piece").

And I just felt numb. The noise that was my bird's-nest-haired daughter wanting to do far more than a two and half year old can was just so tiresome.

But then as i stood with my cup of lovely morning tea, looking across our dreary back yard, I thought "No. I am not going to let the events of the last 24 hours affect my entire weekend and that of my gorgeous family". We've had a lovely day since, despite the ongoing whine- and whinge-fest that seems to be our lot at present.


All of this just makes me realise how much I've developed over the past few years. It's a gradual process, developing one's sense of 'worker' self. As an adolescent, it's quite acceptable to question who you are in the world, how you relate to this person and that. I did my fair share of testing the limits back then, too! What I never expected was that this process would continue on, punctuated by work-related 'developmental milestones'. Where once I'd have thrown my arms to the sky in surrender, I now feel such a firm sense of resolve to stand my ground and maintain my principles.

PS. The font changes along the way is me testing what on earth was going on trying to post this. It's decidedly pretty though and makes a change from my usual black, green or burgundy style.